Week 18: 20 is the new 30...

The only time it wasn't my fault...

Total Weight Lost: 14 lbs

I’d like to say that the three weeks without my scale were liberating and successful:  I rediscovered my love for fruits, vegetables, and portion control.  I forged a healthy relationship with myself that had nothing to do with a number.  I slipped easily into my ridiculously small jeans.  But that would be a big fat lie.  I’d also like to say that it wasn’t my fault.  I was stressed.  I was tired.  I was too busy, too bored.  But that would also be a big fat lie.  Because the truth is, the only time anybody has put cake in my mouth for me was at my wedding. 

So here is what really happened over the last three weeks.  I did feel a bit liberated without the constant reminder of what effect my dietary choices had on my weight.  On previous Fridays, I would be careful of what I ate because I knew my weigh in was the following day.  But without that annoying detail hanging over me, I felt free to eat all the salt I wanted with my chicken strips and fries.

I figured if my weight got out of hand, I’d notice because my clothes would be tighter.  Seems like a sound theory, right?  There was just one fatal flaw:  you may remember that I wear a lot of elastic pajama pants.  And now that it’s summer, a lot of dresses.  It’s amazing how stretchy cotton can be.  Looking back, I imagine I could have gained about 10 pounds before noticing much of a difference in the way my clothes fit.  It was nothing short of a miracle that I only gained one.

That brings my total weight loss to 14 pounds, which leaves me 16 pounds to go in my last seven weeks, if I want to meet by goal.  And that’s the million dollar question:  do I want to meet my goal?  Sure, it would be great to see what I look like at a BMI of 22, but honestly, I think that weight will not be sustainable for me.  After all, I haven’t weighed that little since my sophomore year of high school.  And I didn’t even have hips yet then.

I’m not giving up on my goal; I intend to keep going with weight watchers and see where my body wants to be.  But I don’t intend to start starving myself or exercising 2 hours a day just to get to that point by my 30th birthday.  Especially since I’ll be on vacation for four of my seven remaining weeks.  I don’t know about you all, but I usually don’t come back from vacation weighing less than I did when I left.

I think my new goal by my 30th is to be down twenty pounds.  I like this new goal for a couple of reasons.  For one, I will be at the weight I was when Allison turned one.  And though I could see all kinds of flaws at the time, I look back at the pictures and think:  Holy schmoly I looked GOOD!  Hindsight is 20/20, and in my case a bit conceited.

The other reason I like the new twenty pound goal?  It’s what my doctor suggested.  When he told me I should only expect to lose a couple of pounds a month, I was a bit disappointed.  And skeptical.  I thought surely I’d be able to lose a bit more than that.  But maybe he knew what he was talking about.  Maybe.  He does have a degree in medicine after all.

So here’s to “Twenty by Thirty.”  Am I copping out by making my goal easier?  Maybe.  But I’ll still be twenty pounds lighter.  My BMI will be well within the normal limits.  I’ll still have done my body a favor by watching what I eat and exercising daily.  And maybe I’ll look back at pictures of my 30th birthday and think, “Holy schmoly I looked good!”.