Week 13: Bikini Ready Fast

Total Weight Lost: 14 lbs

Last week I asked you for recommendations about adding toning exercises to my routine.  I was especially flattered by the suggestion to alternate a minute of walking with a minute of push-ups, because you implied that I am capable of doing a full minute of push-ups.  I am, in fact, capable of doing two.  Not two minutes.  Two push-ups.  And not real push-ups either--the kind where you put your knees down.

I think interval training would be a great step up for me in the workout world:  I’ve heard it brings fantastic results.  But for now, I’ve decided to ease myself into strength training by using a workout video twice a week.  The one I chose is called “Self: Bikini Ready Fast,” and it is available on Netflix for anybody who wants to check it out.  The picture on the cover is of a tanned and toned woman in a little yellow bikini standing on the beach, and it promises results in just four weeks.  I know, I know.  The skeptic inside of me was shaking her head and laughing, while the rest of my naive self was busy picturing me tanned and toned in a little yellow bikini on the beach.  But I actually do have some level-headed reasons for choosing this particular video.

For starters, it was recommended to me by a friend of mine who actually did see results in even less than four weeks.  Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, it is one of the few full body work out videos that does not require me to lie down on my back.  This is beneficial because A. Our floors are hard wood and wildly uncomfortable, and B. Every time I lie down, Allison finds it necessary to come and perform elbow drops and other various wrestling maneuvers on me until I get up.

“Bikini Ready Fast” is made even more attractive in that there is only about a minute of any kind of floor work.  You are supposed to do about 12 push-ups total, but you get to rest a little in between.  Actually, I tend to rest a lot in between:  I do my two girly push-ups (okay--one and a half) and then spend the duration of ‘floor work’ lying on my stomach waiting for the peppy instructor to congratulate me on a job well done and tell me it’s time to stretch.

The final perk of my video of choice?  It does not require all that much coordination.  Some of you may remember me at middle school dances.  The rest of you will have to take my word for it:  I am not remotely coordinated.  I couldn’t even tie my shoes until I was 8 or 9, and some might argue there is still room for improvement.  Fortunately, this video is simple enough that by the second or third time I tried it, I felt like I was getting most of the moves down.

Which means that in just four short weeks I will be posting pictures of my bikini ready self.

Kidding, kidding.  I am not expecting to look like the woman on the cover of a magazine in four weeks, or ever (though if I do, you can bet I will be posting pictures).  What I am hoping for is a little more definition in my arms and a metabolism boost.  And who knows, maybe it’s already working.  I did lose a pound and a half this week.  Of course, that could be because I was too sore from working out to get off the couch and open the refrigerator...